Secrets
by Chick Of Fire
Summary: (AU) Hermione ran away from Hogwarts in the middle of seventh year, hiding a secret from Ron. But when Harry comes back into her life, he convinces her to unleash her secret. What will Ron's reaction be...and most of all, what about the secret?
1. Default Chapter

(A/N) This is totally AU...my first fan fic. Please be kind!

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine...except the plot. Hey, if I went and cried in front of J.K.'s house, you think she'll sell it to me?!

I Won't Be There- By Simple Plan

_This is the last night that I spend at home, and it won't take too long for you to notice, won't take long for you to find out that I'm gone. I can't stay, tomorrow I'll be on my way, so don't expect to find me sleeping in my bed, 'cuz when you wake up, I won't be there. I won't be there_

**Secrets**

Chapter One:

I Won't Be There

Harry cupped her face in his hands, the cold wind nipping at his skin through his thin robes.

"Are you sure you want to do this? You don't have to. You have my support, and I'm sure Ron will be delighted. You don't have to go like this," he whispered, his green orbs boring into her brown ones.

The girl in front of him smiled sadly as a tear ran down her cheek, which was red from the cold. Her bushy brown hair flew out in the cold winter wind, and she hugged him tightly as her smile faded.

"Harry, I could never stay like this. If Dumbledore or McGonagall were to find out I was pregnant...oh, Harry, I'd be expelled immediately! I can't stay! And Ron! Oh, Merlin, when he finds out...Harry, I can't."

She kissed his cheek quickly.

"It's better this way. I promise. I already have a flight to America secured. I'll just start over...live my life as a muggle."

Hermione sniffed and smiled sadly again.

"I'll write to you as soon as I get there. I swear. Do come and visit, won't you?"

Harry nodded. He carefully handed his broom to her.

"You owe me a new Firebolt someday, Hermione."

She laughed quietly, and then said seriously,

"Take care of yourself, Harry. I won't be around to nag you to study anymore."

"I don't know what I'll do without you, Granger."

She shook her head.

"Now you listen to me, Mister Potter," she said, bringing her face close to his, snow falling on their touching noses. "You are going to finish seventh year, and become a successful wizard. You will forget about plain Hermione Granger, and find yourself the woman of your dreams. When I look at you ten years from now, you will have a wonderful life, and many glorious children. You understand me?"

"Yes, Miss Granger. I absolutely do," he said in a mocking tone.

Hermione's eyes brimmed with tears again.

"Don't do this to me, Harry," she whispered, bringing her hand to his cheek. "If you go on being you...I'll never be able to leave."

"So don't..." he said, pressing his nose harder against hers.

Hermione was fighting for balance, trying not to fall into his emerald orbs.

"I...I have to..." she whispered, barely audible.

In one swift motion, Harry pressed his lips firmly against hers. She lost her battle for balance. Hermione's hands traveled around his neck, just as his tongue skirted across her bottom lip. She happily allowed him entrance, and almost gasped as his tongue began exploring her mouth, tasting her, and then started gently gliding up and down Hermione's tongue, and she returned the favor.

She suddenly pulled back, and hopped on the broom.

"Don't say anything to Ron, please."

Harry nodded.

"Farewell, Harry James Potter," she said, and kicked off from the Astronomy Tower's balcony.

As she flew towards the moon in the star-sprinkled night sky, Harry whispered to himself,

"Goodbye, Hermione Claire Granger."

He was in utter shock as his feet automatically carried him back to the common room. Realization dawned over how he'd kissed her...and how she kissed him _back_, most of all! Just as he stepped in front of the fat lady's portrait, he stopped short.

"She really loved _me,_" he whispered to himself.

"Password?" The portrait asked.

"_I _should've been the baby's father!"

"Pass_word_?"

"_She didn't really love Ron!_"

"_Password_?"

"Everything she said was complete balderdash!"

"Thank you!" The fat lady said exasperatedly, and she swung open, revealing a very flustered Ron in the entranceway, his hand outstretched as if to push open the portrait.

"Everything _who _said was complete balderdash?" He asked.

"What?"

"I heard something about balderdash. Everything _who _said was complete balderdash?"

"Oh...it was nothing, Ron. It was from a poem in a book Hermione lent me...I just had it stuck in my head so I decided to say it aloud..."

Ron gave him a suspicious look.

"Right, well...Hermione's gone."

Harry attempted to look surprised, but Ron wasn't convinced.

"You know something, Harry. What is it?"

"Sorry, Ron," Harry said, brushing past his best friend. "I promised not to say."

Ron stared after him in shock.

"You promised something to a _girl_, and mind, not just _any _girl, but _my _girl, and you're hiding something _very _important about the girl I love from you _best friend_?"

Harry nodded solemnly, and then started up the staircase to the dormitories. He stopped halfway up, and said, as if an afterthought,

"Love is a _very _strong word, Ron, for someone who might not have returned your feelings."

Ignoring the curses coming from Ron, Harry made his way up the stairs and into his dorm room.


	2. Sunday Morning

Sunday Morning-By Maroon 5

_That may be all I need, in darkness she is all I see. Come and rest your bones with me; driving slow on Sunday morning, and I never want to leave  
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do. Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you. Singing someday "it'll bring me back to youâ€find a way to bring myself back home to you."_

**Secrets**

Chapter Two:

Sunday Morning

Hermione stirred her tea slowly, and then sipped the hot liquid carefully as she stared out her living room window.

It was a Sunday morning—Christmas Eve was tonight. It was snowing outside, and Hermione was watching it fall, searching the sky for a trace of a broom. She sighed. Harry had promised to come. Already two months had passed.

While on the matter, she looked down at her stomach. It was only protruding slightly, giving off the impression that she had simply gained weight. She'd have to start casting illusion charms soon.

As she continued to stare blankly at her stomach, there was a curt knock at the door.

Butterflies suddenly jumping into her stomach and flying about, she made her way slowly to the door and opened it.

There stood Harry, raven black hair as messy as ever, covering up his famous lightning-bolt scar. Snow had fallen in his hair and onto his coat. His cheeks were red from the cold, and his glasses fogged up.

He grinned lopsidedly, and Hermione melted.

"Hello, 'Mione," he said, stepping in and kissing her on the cheek.

She hugged him tightly, and he brought his arms around her waist to pat her soothingly on the back.

"I missed you," Hermione said quietly.

"I missed you, too," he said letting go of her. "How have you been?"

"Busy as ever. Thank you for coming to spend Christmas with me, Harry."

"Anytime. Ron was getting dead pissed with me. I was happy to get away."

"Oh, I'm sorry Harry" she smiled sadly, and then took his hand. "But, now you're here. So tell me, how have _you _been? How's everyone at school?"

"Oh, they're all fine...dead worried about you, though. Ron's gone mad, Ginny's worried sick, McGonagall and all the other professors miss their favorite student"

Hermione sat down on the couch, and Harry followed. She felt herself growing pink.

She was thinking about that godforsaken kiss again...oh, why now, of all times?

She cleared her mind of the thought, and leaned back.

"I see you're doing well," Harry said, gazing around the cramped apartment.

Hermione smiled at his politeness.

"I suppose...it's enough to get by...it'll be hectic when the little one arrives."

"Speaking of which, Hermione," Harry began, turning to her, "When is Ron going to find out? You can't raise this baby alone, 'Mione. You need help so you can work, or study, or have fun! And you'll need child support payments...you may not be able to get by on your own. And besides, Ron has a right to know...he's the father. And he's been giving me the third degree a lot lately...he has to know."

"No, he doesn't," Hermione retorted stubbornly. "I can get by _fine _on my own, Harry. I don't need some cheating, filthy bastard to come and help me take care of my baby" Hermione realized what she had said, and clapped her hand over her mouth. "I didn't say that, Harry."

He gazed at her, his eyes full of concern.

"Hermione, what'd he do to you?"

"Nothing, Harry. I shouldn't have mentioned it," she said, looking away from his eyes.

"'Mione, look at me," he whispered.

She didn't turn around.

"Hermione, look at me," he said, his voice firmer.

Still no response.

"Look at me!" He said, taking her face in his hands and turning her around so she faced him.

He saw tears welling up in her eyes, and guilt rose in him, but he pushed it aside. He had to know what happened to her.

"'Mione," he whispered, his voice soft once again, "Please...tell me what he did to you."

"I...can't, Harry. I just can't," she choked out.

"Hermione...it's just me. Your best friend. You can tell me anything."

She hesitated a moment, and then began,

"Well, you remember the week before I left? There was a visit to Hogsmeade, so Ron decided to take me to one of the restaurants there.

"The dinner was lovely—he acted like a complete gentleman. Did nothing wrong, nothing to hint anything suspicious. It was only after, when we went to the three broomsticks to meet up with Fred and George and a few friends, that things got suspicious.

"I remember that he bought quite a few drinks...and I suppose he bribed Fred and George into dropping something into my drink, because they shot me pitying looks. Oh, Harry, I was so naïve! I didn't pay attention to those looks! Well, things got fuzzy, and I remember laughing too often, and then I remember being lead back from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts and up to the common room...and then I can't remember anything. I just know that I woke up the next morning next to Ron in the boys' dormitories, and I ran out scared out of my wits."

Harry was silent for a few moments, and Hermione grew afraid, knowing he _did _have a temper, one that wasn't good to light.

"So...he raped you" Harry said, his voice dangerously soft.

"No, Harry! He didn't _rape _me"

"He took advantage of you, then. I don't care what he did, that filthy bastard is going to get it from me, Hermione."

"No! Harry, you can't! You just can't!"

"OH, CAN'T I?" he yelled, jumping up from the couch. "THE BLOODY BASTARD GOES AND TAKES ADVANTAGE OF MY BEST FRIEND, AND I'M SUPPOSED TO SIT BACK LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED? IS THAT IT?"

"No, Harry! Just don't go and start fighting with him! Oh, Harry, just please, calm down!"

"I CAN'T _CALM DOWN_! I'M TOO DAMN ANGRY AT THAT _MAN_ I USED TO CALL MY FRIEND!"

"Harry, please, if you're going to be like this, please leave."

He stopped short, and turned to gape at her.

"_What_?"

"Please leave, Harry. Just please, go."

In utter shock, Harry turned around, took a bottle of champagne out of his pocket, left it on the coffee table, and disapparated.

Hermione stared at the champagne bottle, and then erupted into tears.

* * *

Harry sat on his bed in the hotel room, face in his hands. He felt horrible, monstrous for yelling at Hermione like that. He had been sitting there for two hours, trying to come up with a way to show Hermione just how sorry he is. Finally, he picked up his hotel room key, and walked out the door.

He'd just have to act like his old, boyish self.

Hermione lay asleep on the couch, pillow hugged tightly to her chest, eyes red and puffy from crying. She was trembling slightly, both from the cold and the dream that plagued her sleep. A soft whimper escaped her lips just as her door clicked open, and Harry stepped in.

He took one look at her, and guilt rose up in him again. He put the flowers he had brought down, and shrugged off his coat, where it fell to the floor by the door. He walked over quietly to Hermione, and kneeled down in front of her, watching her sleep. He stood, and fetched her a blanket from her bedroom, and gently put it over her.

Almost at once, Hermione's eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at Harry. She looked up at him sadly, and then said groggily,

"I asked you to leave, Harry."

"I know," he said, looking down at his feet. "I came to say I'm sorry, Hermione. I really, truly am. I didn't mean to yell at you like that...I was just too damn mad at Ron."

He reached behind his back and snatched the flowers he had bought off the coffee table, and held them out to Hermione.

"For you, 'Mione. Can you please forgive me?" he asked.

Hermione looked up and locked eyes with him. Harry saw her reddened eyes, and sat down carefully on the edge of the couch. He leaned over and hugged her intimately.

"I'm sorry, 'Mione. So sorry."

"I know, Harry," she whispered, a tear falling from her cheek onto his coat.

He gave her a squeeze, then let go and reached into his pocket, and brought out a gift box.

"Merry Christmas, 'Mione," he said.

She smiled at him, and wiped her eyes before getting up and walking to her bedroom. She came back with a long, rectangular box, and handed it to him.

"Merry Christmas, Harry."

Harry grinned, and took the box. He opened it up, and stared. Inside, in almost perfect condition, was his old Firebolt, now polished so much it sparkled.

"Thank you, 'Mione," he said.

Hermione simply smiled.

"Well," he said, giving her present a nudge. "Open it!"

Hermione grinned and sat down on the couch, and pulled hers open. Inside was a velvet box, and Hermione snapped it open slowly. Inside, on a padded cushion, was a white gold necklace, and with a golden snitch hanging from one end. Harry reached over and took it from her, and put it around her neck.

"Open the snitch, 'Mione. It's a locket."

Hermione opened it, and on one side was a picture of her, but the other was empty. She shot Harry a quizzical look.

"The other is for a picture of your baby," he said, leaning over to get a good look at the locket again. "Now, read the engraftment on the snitch."

Hermione flipped the tiny ball over, and tears came to her eyes at the words on the tiny ball.

_For Hermione_

_My Golden Snitch through all these years_

_Merry Christmas_

_Harry_

Hermione turned to look at him, and Harry grinned.

"There's one more present," he said.

He leaned over and pressed his lips firmly against Hermione's and then whispered,

"Merry Christmas."


	3. Bring Me To Life

Bring Me To Life By Evanescence

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors, leading you down into my core where I've become so numb, _

_without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home. _

_Wake me up inside, Wake me up inside. Call my name and save me from the dark. Bid my blood to run,_

_before I come undone. Save me from the nothing i've become_

**Secrets**

Chapter Three:

Bring Me To Life

Hermione rolled over in bed, and stretched out her arms, looking for something that wasn't there. She groaned in frustration. She distinctly remembered that someone was supposed to be next to her this morning. Hermione sat up, and threw her legs over the side of the bed, then groped around with her toes for her slippers.

She padded softly down the hall, and heard sounds coming from the kitchen. That was unusual—she wasn't cooking. Hermione passed the living room on her way, and saw a black velvet box on the coffee table, and a bouquet of roses. Even though she was oblivious to the world at this time in the morning, the previous night came flooding back to her. Hermione reached under the neck of her camisole and pulled out the white-gold necklace he had given to her. She read the engraftment, and smiled.

He heard her coming long before she entered the kitchen, and smiled to himself. He stood there in only his trousers, the oil in the pan gurgling and flying out onto his bare torso. He sensed her enter the kitchen, and said nothing, simply tended to the bacon and flipped the eggs.

He felt her hand on his shoulder, and the next moment, his back was to the stove and her lips were upon his. They broke away, and she smiled, and hugged him, resting her head on his chest.

"Good morning, Harry."

They were sitting at her cluttered dining room table, which was directly off the family room. The table was barely visible beneath piles of books and papers, but Hermione pushed some aside to make room for the breakfast Harry had prepared. They ate in silence, and Harry cleared up. When he came back, Hermione was on the couch, feet hugged to her chest, necklace in hand.

"Hey," he said, sitting down next to her.

"Hey," she said softly.

Harry noticed a small tear trailing down her cheek.

"What's wrong?" He asked, wrapping his arm around the small of her shoulders.

"Harry...this baby...it could be born all alone. Fatherless."

"Balderdash. Ron will help you...I know he will. It's his baby, Hermione."

She turned and looked into his eyes.

"No. I don't want him to be a father...a dad. I don't want him in my life."

"Then who do you want...?" Harry asked hesitantly, already knowing the answer.

Hermione smiled sadly.

"You, Harry. But I was sitting here, thinking about it, and I remembered the prophecy. You might not come back."

Harry hugged her tightly.

"Don't think about it. I'll face Voldemort head-on, and I'll be back in time for you to crush my hand during labor."

Hermione gave a small laugh.

"Hermione?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you _really_ want me to be the father figure?"

She smiled, and said,

"More than anything."

* * *

He sighed. It had been two weeks since he had returned, and her words were still echoing in his mind.

_You might not come back...You might not come back..._

He preferred not to think about it. But ever since she mentioned it, he couldn't get the thought out of his mind. Every time the thought of never seeing her again entered his mind, his chest contracted painfully, his stomach went ill, and his heart started beating faster.

_You might not come back...You might not come back..._

"Harry?"

A voice interrupted him from his thoughts, and he looked up from his Defense Against the Dark Arts book, startled. It was Neville, his ever faithful study partner, who was holding two cups of hot chocolate.

"Oh, hey, Neville," Harry said, taking one of the mugs from him.

"Hullo. Something wrong?"

"No...I was just thinking about Christmas."

Neville nodded knowingly.

"You miss her, huh?"

Harry nodded. His chest contracted painfully again, and he found it hard to breathe.

"Maybe we should study another time..." Neville said hesitantly, knowing that Harry was going through his "routine."

"No, no, I'm fine. Honestly."

Never taking his eyes off of Harry, Neville cracked open his own DA book, and slowly started to read.

* * *

His eyes were hurting from the two hours of reading small text. He gathered up his books, and bid goodbye to Neville, then slowly made his way to the Gryffindor common room. He was walking by the Hufflepuff coat of arms when he rounded a corner and strode straight into Ron.

Books, quills, ink bottles, and parchment went flying out of Harry's bag, spilling over the ground. Ron rubbed his head idly while Harry picked up the shards of glass and blotted parchment, and cleared up the mess.

"A bit late for a rendezvous, eh, Potter?"

Harry sighed. So much had changed.

"Sorry, Ron. I was heading back form the library. No rule against that, is there?" Harry asked coolly.

He brushed past Ron, shouldering him. Ron grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around.

"That's _Head Boy _to you, Potter," He said, pointing to the badge on his chest. "And I'd watch my manners if I were you."

"No need to watch them," Harry replied. "I have them under control."

Ron lost his patience, raised his wand, and muttered and incantation.

Ivy ropes sprouted from the tip of Ron's wand, and Harry dodged it, only to have Ron scream,

"Expelliarmus!"

Harry was knocked off his feet, and his wand flew through the air. He crashed into the wall behind him, and his wand landed by Ron's feet. Ron plucked up the wand, and then came close to Harry, and cast the roping spell again. Harry moaned as a cut opened in his head. He looked up at Ron over him, struggling against his bindings.

"You took away the girl I loved, Potter. Now you'll pay."

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but was blocked out by Ron screaming,

"Crucio!"

The Cruciatus hit Harry almost immediately, and pain wracked through his body. He felt his back arch dangerously, and he heard a soft moan escape his lips...soft enough so Ron couldn't hear, but loud enough for it to reach his ears.

Just when Harry thought the pain was too great for him to stand it any longer, it stopped, and he heard his wand drop by his side, and then disappearing footsteps down the hall.

Harry struggled to keep his eyes open, but eventually, darkness consumed him.

He woke up in a white-paneled room on white sheets, and moaned at his aching muscles. He knew where he was, although his eyes were closed again. He felt as if he was dead, but the pain was too great.

_I'm dead..._he thought. _I'm dead...oh, god, some one come wake me up. Come on, Hermione. I need you. You promised to be here. Shit, Hermione, be here. Bring me back to life...Bring me to life..._


	4. Wishing on the Same Star

Wishing on the same star-By Myra

_It's so hard to leave you, Baby I don't really want to go _

_I don't want to say goodbye to you, it's the last I wanna do_

_I will miss you now, 'cause until you're in my arms again_

_You'll be inside of my heart where ever I go—we'll never really be apart_

_We'll be wishing on the same star, looking at the same moon_

_When you're thinking of me baby, I'll be thinking of you_

_And no matter where I go, I'll be there with you_

_Wishing on the same star, looking at the same moon_

**Secrets**

Chapter Four:

Wishing On the Same Star

He busted into the Hospital Wing, running wildly to Madam Promfrey's office.

"Madam Promfrey!" He panted, screeching to a halt inside the door.

"Mr. Longbottom?" The nurse asked, turning around and scowling. "Do _not _yell in the Hospital Wing! Now…what can I do for you?"

"It's Harry! He's gone missing!"

"Impossible…he was sleeping soundly in his bed four hours ago…hasn't made a peep since!"

"Look for yourself!"

They walked together, side by side, over to where the patients were kept, and towards Harry's bed. Madam Promfrey reached out an old, wrinkled hand, and pulled back the curtain. A moment later, she jumped back with surprise.

"Mr. Creevey!"

In Harry's bed lie the unconscious form of Colin Creevey, hair a cross between blonde and black, a trace of a thunder-bolt scar fading from his forehead.

"It must have been Pollyjuice Potion, Madam Promfrey!" Never exclaimed. "It started wearing off when I pulled back the curtain to give Harry his class work."

"Where can that damn boy possibly be?" Madam Promfrey wondered aloud, collapsing into a chair.

"I believe I know precisely where he is," a raspy voice said softly from the doorway.

Neville spun around to find the form of Albus Dumbledore moving swiftly toward the bed.

"It's alright, Madam Promfrey, you may go tend to the other patients. Give Mr. Creevey a hefty dose of chocolate frogs when he wakes up and he shall be fine—I must talk to Mr. Longbottom immediately."

With that, Dumbledore took Neville firmly by the arm and led him out into the corridor and towards the gargoyle that blocked his office.

"Lemon sherbet," Dumbledore said curtly, and the gargoyle jumped aside.

Moments later, Neville found himself in a chair within Dumbledore's office, staring across an oak desk at the headmaster.

"Neville—you have been in the Department of Mysteries with Harry in fifth year, have you not?"

"Yes, sir, I have."

Dumbledore reached under his desk and pushed a case of candies toward Neville.

"Lemon drop?"

Neville shook his head, and Dumbledore popped one into his mouth, and sucked on it for a few moments before beginning.

"Neville…you know why, naturally, _why _you went to the Department of Mysteries that night with the rest of the group, I presume?"

"Faintly, sir…something about a gold orb and a prophecy…about Harry and you-know-who…that they must battle and only one would survive."

"Precisely. Voldemort and Harry are to duel and only one can leave the fight alive."

Neville cringed at the name.

"I have been watching Harry very carefully for quite sometime now, Neville. He is distressed, and has been since the absence of Ms. Granger. He seems to _want _to battle Voldemort. I have no doubt that he has had one of his dreams again, and has left to do battle."

"But he can die without backup, sir!"

"And he knows it. He knows that the final battle of the first war is between him and Voldemort. Of course, I will alert the Order of the Phoenix immediately, but there is someone else who is to know."

"Who, sir?"

"Ms. Granger. Neville, do not interrupt until I am finished. Run to the Owlery and find a school barn owl. Address the letter to a 'Ashley Lohan.' Write a note to Hermione and send it. Believe me, it will reach her safely."

"But sir…"

"Trust me, Mr. Longbottom. She will know."

Hermione collapsed on the couch as soon as she came home from work, unbuttoned the top of her shirt, and took off the Illusion Charm. She watched as her stomach slowly enlarged. She sighed and let her head fall back, her hair escaping the ponytail it had been previously confined to.

As she closed her eyes, she heard a tap on the window. Jolting forward, she spun around, knowing the one thing that sound could be—something she hadn't seen in almost three months.

It was an owl.

She jumped up and immediately crossed over the cramped apartment and opened up the window. The owl flew in, dropped the sealed letter onto her coffee table, and immediately flew out.

Stunned, Hermione came slowly back to her couch and sat down slowly. It was titled Ashley Lohan—the alias she was under. Only two people knew—Harry and Dumbledore. She reached out to grab the letter, and broke the red seal—the Hogwarts seal.

She took out the letter and read it over, read it again, and then let it fall to the floor as her hands flew to her face and sobs rose in her throat.

Hermione—

I'm so sorry that I have to tell you this. I hope that you won't blame me for the bad news. Harry's missing. He was knocked out by an unforgivable curse about a week ago, and when I came to the Hospital Wing today he was missing. Colin Creevey was there, under the influence of the Pollyjuice Potion.

Dumbledore knows—he reckons that Harry went to fight you-know-who already. That's it…the prophecy is on its way to completion. Hopefully Harry will be the victorious one.

Miss you

Neville

She couldn't believe it. He couldn't go _now_. According to Neville, he had been cursed by an _unforgivable_. It wasn't a light matter.

She sobbed into her hands, and knew that there was no one around to comfort her—the only one who could was out dueling with Voldemort. She stopped crying and wiped away her tears, then stood and walked to the window. Night was falling, and the moon was coming out. She gazed out to the beautiful white orb in the sky, and spotted a nearby star. She closed her eyes to make a wish, and then chided herself.

_You know it's ridiculous…it'll never come true_.

She looked back up at the moon.

_But I know it…he's somewhere out there…thinking of me. He has to be. He's thinking of me and wishing on the same star._

_If not, at least we're looking at the same moon._


	5. Sunrise

Sunrise-By Norah Jones

Surprise, surprise couldn't find it your eyes

But I'm sure it's written all over my face

Surprise, surprise, never something I could hide

When I see we've made through another day

And I say hoo-oo, hoo-oo, hoo-oo

Do you…

Now the night's thrown its cover down for me again

Oooo I love sunrise…it's the only way to bring me back

Hoo-oo, hoo-oo, hoo-oo

**Secrets**

Chapter Five:

Sunrise

Come sunrise it was all over. His body was slumped over the cold jagged stone, red from the robe drenched in his own blood. His eyelids felt too heavy, but he forced them open and slowly raised his head.

Struggling to raise his arm from the ground, his fingers stumbled in attempt to pick up his wand, which rolled a few feet away from him. He sent red sparks into the air, signaling for help, and let his head and arm slump back. It would only take minutes for the Order to see the sparks and fly over, shipping him and the others off to St. Mungo's.

He smiled as her face popped into his mind. She looked angelic, sitting on the couch, a tear trickling down her cheek.

_You might not come back…you might not come back…_

Now it was all over, and he would be coming home to her. Just as he had promised.

Only five minutes later he heard the landing of several brooms and the padding of heavy combat boots rushing toward him. He opened up his eyes and looked up into the smiling face of Tonks.

"'Ello, Harry! Thank god you're safe! But look at who's the new hero, eh? Nice job, champ…let's ship you off to your awaiting ward."

He felt several pairs of strong arms picking him up and carrying him to a floating stretcher, tied to several brooms.

"Take him as fast as you can…he needs attention as fast as possible," he heard a familiar voice call out.

Someone opened up his hand and dropped a foil-wrapped package into his hand—chocolate.

"See you later, Professor Lupin," Harry said hoarsely, smiling at the graying man.

"Take care of yourself, Harry," Lupin said, giving the witches and wizards a signal to go.

And suddenly, it all went black.

She rushed through the wards, hoping the concealment would hide her identity well. Tonks had helped her, only after crushing her in a hug.

"Oh, Hermione…why'd you leave? Ol' Dumbledore wouldn't have thrown you out! Not after your parents died…_never _after that!"

She had only nodded through the tears of seeing an old friend.

But now she ran through the halls of St. Mungo's, looking for the visitor check-in. Finally, after a quarter of an hour searching, she found it in a dark secluded corner.

She ran breathlessly up to the receptionist and gasped,

"Ashley…Lohan…I'm here to…see Harry Potter…"

The receptionist looked up at her while blowing a bubble of gum and popping it.

"Yeah…Harry Potter? Lemme check the list…"

The receptionist bent over to grab a seven-foot-long piece of parchment and scanned it.

"Yepp…you're on the list…go on in. Third corridor take a right, three wards down. It'll be on your left."

"Thanks," Hermione gasped, running away down the corridor.

She busted into the private ward, completely breathless. Luckily, only Dumbledore sat by Harry's bed, holding the unconscious young man's hand.

He turned his head slowly, and eyed her over his half-moon spectacles.

"Hello, Hermione."

She stood perfectly still, almost crying at the sight of the man who had been a father to her since her parents died in sixth year.

"Professor Dumbledore…"

"Shush…come sit," he said, summoning a plush recliner next to his stiff chair.

Hermione happily collapsed into the soft fabric.

"You've worried many students by your sudden disappearance, Miss Lohan," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

"I had to leave, sir…I didn't want Ron to know…"

"I understand…Mister Weasley has not taken to your disappearance…and Mr. Potter has been 'dawdling' during his classes, as Professor McGonagall so kindly puts it."

Hermione couldn't hold it in anymore, and erupted into tears. Dumbledore stood quietly and embraced her.

"Shush, Hermione…he will be fine…I promise. He is getting the best care possible."

Hermione's sobs subsided into hiccups, and Dumbledore resumed his place. There were a few moments of silence, and then,

"Do you suppose, perhaps, that you have the wrong father?" Dumbledore said quietly.

Hermione nodded.

"Everyday I wish it wasn't Ron…everyday I wish it were him instead."

Dumbledore patted her hand awkwardly and stood.

"It will all work out, Hermione. And now, I take my leave and leave you with Mr. Potter. I suggest you take off the concealment charm for now. Good day, Ms. Lohan."

With that, Dumbledore left the room.

She took off the concealment charm and took her position by his side, perched on the edge of the hospital bed. She took his hand in his and gave it a small squeeze, letting him know he was there.

When he awoke it was growing light outside and there was a throbbing pain in his head. He groaned quietly, and attempted shift around in the hospital bed, but felt a weight on the edge of his bed. He slowly sat up right, and leaned over towards the body sprawled by him. Dark auburn curls fell over the blanket, and a pale hand held his, holding it tightly.

He almost gasped aloud as he realized who it was. She was finally here to see him.

Hermione.

He pushed away the curls from her face and stroked it gently, until Hermione stirred in her sleep, and slowly sat upright. She turned to him, and he heard her gasp. He saw her reach out her hand and the next moment it was on his skin, touching his cheek.

"Harry…" she said quietly.

He knew she was on the brink of tears, and turned his head to kiss the palm of her hand.

"Hermione."

He heard her give in to the sobs, and he took her into his arms, letting her cry into his shoulder.

He turned his head and kissed away her tears, and when her sobs subsided into hiccups he kissed her gently, and shifted her onto his lap.

"Look," he said, gesturing out the window.

The sun peeked over the edge of distant trees and landed on her face, giving her red eyes a sparkle and her skin a warm glow.

"I love the sunrise," she said softly, leaning against him.

He nodded.

"It's the only way to bring me back."


	6. With You

With You—By Jessica Simpson

_You speak and it's like a song  
And just like that all my walls come down  
It's like a private joke just meant for us to know  
I relate to you naturally  
Everybody else just fades away  
Sometimes it's hard to breathe  
Just knowing you found me_

_Cuz I start thinking about it,  
I almost forgot what it was like  
To know what love feels right  
Cause with you  
I can let my hair down  
I can say anything crazy  
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground  
With nothing but a T-shirt on  
I never felt so beautiful  
Baby as I do now  
Now that I'm with you  
With you_

**Secrets**

Chapter Six:

With You

He sat in a chair in front of the platform on the Quidditch Field, waiting patiently for Dumbledore to finish his speech so Ron would stand and make his as head boy, and then stand in line to receive his diploma. He found it hard to believe, knowing that soon he would leave Hogwarts and England behind, to move to America and the girl he loves.

He looked up into the crowd and saw her, sitting near the top. She didn't look herself, but it didn't matter—she was there. He smiled up at her, and she smiled down, the sun shining off of the straight blonde hair that was currently atop her head. Sunglasses covered her auburn eyes, but he could see them in his mind's eye.

He did nothing but stare up at her as Ron's voice washed over him, not a single word registering in his mind. He heard someone call out for all graduating students to stand, and he felt his legs move him towards the podium. He finally snapped to his senses as Lavender Brown, who stood in front of him, received her diploma, shook hands with Dumbledore, and then hopped off the stage.

Harry stepped forward to collect his diploma, and Dumbledore embraced him as a camera click went off somewhere with a puff of purple smoke.

"You'll do wonderfully in America, Harry," Dumbledore whispered to him, slipping a sheet of parchment into his hand by the diploma. "The paper has the address of an Auror agency in Philadelphia, where you and Hermione are staying…good luck."

Harry smiled and walked away from the old man, waving as he returned to his seat. He waited patiently again as the rest of the students collected their diplomas, and then all those waiting in the stands came down to the field to embrace family and friends in a last goodbye.

Seamus Finnigan and Neville Longbottom ran up to Harry for an exchange of pictures and hugs. As they laughed about the last few days, Harry felt a tap on his shoulder, and then lips upon his.

He smiled as he kissed her back, already knowing who it is, and Seamus and Neville cat-called.

"And who is this lovely woman, Harry?" Seamus asked as Harry wrapped his arm around Hermione.

"Ashley Lohan," she answered as Harry opened her mouth.

She shook Seamus and Neville's hands. "You two must be Seamus and Neville! Harry's told me so much about you two!"

Seamus grinned, while Neville eyed Harry and "Ashley" up, and then walked away.

"My mate's right," Seamus said apologetically. "We'll leave you two to it, then. Nice to meet you, Ms. Lohan."

"Please, Ashley. Ms. Lohan makes me feel old…good to meet you, Seamus."

Harry waved after Seamus, and then turned to Hermione.

"I missed you…I'm glad you could come," he whispered before kissing her.

"Mm…me too…it feels strange to be back."

Harry smiled at her, and then patted her lower abdomen.

"How's the little one doing?"

"Kicking and such…Merlin's beard, I can't see my feet anymore…tottering around with an eight-month belly."

"Well, you can see them now, can't you?" Harry teased.

"I prefer to act like a normal pregnant woman and bitch about it anyway," Hermione said, kissing him again.

Harry smiled at her when they broke apart, and asked,

"Would you rather head for the portkey now, or later?"

"Now," she said, smiling at him devilishly.

He sent her off to the portkey, and doubled back to where Dumbledore was conversing with McGonagall.

"Professors," he greeted, giving each a nod.

"Harry, are you leaving so soon?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, sir…Hermione's eager to get back…I don't think she's feeling too well."

Dumbledore gave him another hug, and so did McGonagall, with a few tears.

"Hagrid would've been so proud of you," Dumbledore said quietly.

Harry nodded on the touchy subject.

"I suppose…give my best to everyone else, won't you? Especially the Weasleys."

Dumbledore nodded and watched as Harry ran off to catch the portkey in the Room of Requirement.

He dropped to his knees on the carpet in Hermione's apartment and immediately jumped up to steady Hermione, while the rotted newspaper they just used fell to the ground harmlessly. He led her over to a chair, and she smiled gratefully.

"The little one is getting fussy…doesn't like being shrunk to a flat belly too much."

Harry laughed, and watched as Hermione waved her wand, and a moment later her straight blonde hair turned to her normal curly brown mess, and her stomach grew to its full size, stretching her shirt until it ripped.

He grinned, and walked over, kneeling down until he was level with her stomach. He put his ear against it and rubbed his hand across.

"What do you think, 'Mione? Girl or boy?"

Hermione laughed, and ran her hand absentmindedly through his messy hair.

"How am I supposed to know, Harry? I haven't any experience of this sort."

"I thought you women were supposed to have something called 'intuition?' So take a guess!"

Hermione smiled, unable to refuse Harry, and finally said,

"Girl…a beautiful girl."

Harry kissed her stomach.

"Like her mum."

A few moments passed a comfortable silence, Hermione toying with Harry's hair while he slowly rubbed his hand back and forth against her stomach.

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you feel like…around me?"

Hermione fell silent for a few moments, pondering.

"That bad, huh?" Harry asked quietly.

"No, of course not! It's just…difficult to put into words…"

"Try your best, please?"

Hermione was silent for another minute or so, and then said,

"Like no one else is around us…just you and me, and nothing else matters. That I can say anything crazy or stupid, yet you'd understand exactly what I was saying. And most of all," she said, locking eyes with him, "I feel beautiful when I'm with you."

Harry smiled, and took her hand, kissing it.

"Do you love me?"

Hermione gasped.

"Harry…"

"Because I love you, Hermione…more than anything or anyone in the world. I want to be with you forever…and every day when I wake up, before I open my eyes, I'm afraid that it's all a perfect dream, and that I'll wake up. And every night that I go to sleep I'm afraid you won't be there when I wake up. Please, Hermione…" Harry said, reaching up to stroke her cheek, "say you love me…only if you truly mean it…say you love me."

Hermione was shocked and touched at his words, and her eyes filled with tears. "I love you, Harry."

"Say you'll marry me," he pressed, grabbing a box from inside his robes and showing her a gorgeous ring, with diamonds lining the band and three for show.

Hermione's chest contracted, and she found it difficult to breathe.

"Hermione…I'll never love anyone as much as you…will you marry me?"

His green orbs were pleading, and so full of love.

There was only one option.

"Harry," she said, breaking down, "I can't."

_Author's Note: Surprises, surprises! I bet most of you were thinking she would say yes! Thoughts for the next chapter: Why didn't Hermione say yes to Harry? What is she keeping from him? Please review!_


	7. The Reason

The Reason—By Hoobastank

_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you_

I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you

**Secrets**

Chapter Seven:

The Reason

Author's Note: In the beginning, it's going back and forth between the present time, and what happened after Harry proposed.

He turned over so he could see the digital-read clock. It was two thirty in the morning. Somehow he doubted she was asleep

He got shot down. He was still on the floor, in total shock. Hermione jumped up, ran off in tears, and locked herself in the bedroom. Minutes passed before he stood, and walked to the bedroom door. He leaned his back against it, staring at the wall in front of him.

"Why?" he choked out. "Why?"

He heard sniffles, and then a hoarse voice said, "Please, Harry…"

"Why?"

"B-because…" she managed between sobs, "we're too y-young."

"Balderdash," he said quietly.

"W-what?"

"Balderdash," he said again, sinking to the floor. "Balderdash."

It was like he was back in Hogwarts, with the passwords for the portraits, because she tentatively opened the door.

He stood and enveloped her in an embrace, and she cried into his shoulder. He directed her toward the bed, and laid her down.

"Take a kip, love," he said gently. "We'll talk later."

He looked over to his side, deciding for sure that she wasn't asleep. Then he looked towards the direction of the living room, and wondered what secrets it held.

He knocked softly on the door and entered, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Brought you some tea," he said, handing her the mug.

Hermione took the mug, but gazed at it suspiciously.

"No truth serum," Harry said honestly, a smile tugging at his lips.

He waited until the tea was gone, and asked,

"Why? I'm not mad at you…honestly. Just sad…and shocked…"

Hermione looked away, tears welling up in her eyes.

She muttered something that Harry understood as "found."

"Found? Found what?" he asked, taking her hand in his.

"He…found…"

"He? Who is he? Found what?"

"He found us."

It took a split second for her words to register in his head, and his mouth fell open.

"What?"

"He found us," she said, starting to cry. "It happened yesterday…oh, Harry! I was going to tell you when we got home, but then you started saying all these wonderful things…and you _proposed_! To _me_! A pregnant, hormonal _teenager_! I want nothing more than to marry you, Harry, I really mean that! But I _can't _say 'yes!' If he finds out he might do something to you, or me, or the _baby_! Harry…I can't risk you or the baby!"

She completely broke down, and Harry was in shock, but gathered her into his arms. He couldn't imagine how _he _found them.

"Hermione…" he said, "_how _did he find us?"

"Owl post," she sobbed. "He sent us a howler through the post…said awful things! Said he knew who I really was with…and my alias…and that he'd…he'd…" she couldn't finish, but Harry knew.

Harry leaned closer to her and kissed her shoulder.

"Can't sleep?" he asked quietly.

"No," she said, her hand coming up into his hair.

He took his own and intertwined their fingers.

"What time is it in London?" he asked.

"Seven thirty in the morning," Hermione replied.

"What do you think about me going over for a chat with Neville? Just for a short while, love. I promise to be back by noon…do you think you'll be alright?"

Hermione nodded.

"Yes…I'll be fine…send him my love, won't you?"

"Of course…I'll be back before you know it," Harry said, tugging off his pajamas and pulling on clothes. "I love you," he said, kissing her soundly.

"I love you too…I'll see you in a bit, Harry."

By the time he was in the floo network, she was asleep.

Neville and Harry sat in a crowded pub off Diagon Alley, waiting for their toast and pancakes to be served.

"You woke me up, Harry," Neville said groggily, taking a gulp of his coffee.  
Why so early? It couldn't wait?"

"No," Harry answered, stirring cream into his own mug. "I tried waiting…and it just bugged me more…Neville…you don't know what happened."

"No…I don't…care to fill me in?" Neville asked, smiling at the young waitress who brought out their breakfast.

"I proposed to her last night," Harry said quietly.

Neville choked on his toast, sputtering it everywhere.

"You _what_? You proposed to _Hermione_?"

Several people turned around at the young heroine's name, and Harry glared at Neville.

"No, _not _Hermione! _Ashley_," he said firmly, and loud enough for all those around them to hear.

Uninterested, the onlookers turned around.

"We use her alias in public," Harry hissed.

Neville nodded and smiled sheepishly.

"But yes…I did propose…and she shot me down."

Neville's jaw dropped.

"Ashley shot you down? But _why_? She's in _love _with you!"

"She told me the same thing," Harry said distractedly, "But there's more too it. Later I brought her tea…and it all came spilling out. Turns out that _he _sent her a howler through the mail threatening her about me, the baby, and her life. Either that…or he'd tell _him_."

Neville nodded.

"So…I did the only thing that I could do…comfort and support her."

"What do you think you're going to do now?"

Harry looked out the window.

"I think I'll have a little chat with Mr. Malfoy…before he goes and tells Ron."

A/N) Plot twisties! You gotta love 'em…really, you do. So it wasn't RON who sent the howler, but DRACO. So, how will Harry's confrontation go with dear old Mr. Malfoy? And most of all…what about Hermione's baby?


	8. Predictable

Predictable-By Good Charlotte

Something isn't right  
I can feel it again feel it again  
This isn't the first time  
That you left me waiting  
Sad excuses and false hopes high  
I saw this coming still I don't know why  
I let you in

I knew it all along  
You're so predictable  
I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong)  
So you don't have to call  
Or say anything at all  
You're so predictable (so predictable)

**Secrets**

Chapter Eight:

Predictable

Harry was waiting for him when he flicked on the lights, as he escorted a long blonde into his apartment, and poured two glasses of fine wine. He waited as he flirted and kissed the girl passionately, and it wasn't until half of their clothing was discarded and they made their way towards the living room couch that he was noticed.

"Good evening, Mr. Malfoy," Harry said coolly as the blonde was about to sit on him.

Malfoy broke away from the young girl, who immediately covered up her exposed chest.

"Potter," he spat vehemently, "what are _you _doing in my bloody apartment? How the hell did you get in here? You bastard, get out!"

"I haven't even said anything, Malfoy, and already you're trying to get me out," Harry said, shaking his head.

Malfoy stood there, glaring daggers at Harry while the girl ran around, picking up articles of clothing and rushing out the apartment door.

Harry watched her leave, and turned back to Malfoy.

"How much did you pay for that one, eh?"

Malfoy stepped forward and punched Harry in the eye, who leapt forward off the couch and tackled him. He threw a much at Malfoy's nose, and at the same time Malfoy's fist connected with Harry's jaw. They tumbled around for what seemed like hours, punching and tackling each other until both were bruised and bloody.

Panting, Harry pulled out his wand and muttered under his breath, and ropes sprouted from his wand and wound themselves around Malfoy.

Harry stood there for a few moments, catching his breath, and then wiped blood from his mouth.

"You throw a mean left hook, Malfoy," Harry said, spitting his blood over his shoulder. "But I'm not here to chat about your fighting skills. I'm here about the howler you sent Hermione."

Malfoy looked up at Harry from his spot on the floor, blood dripping from a gash on his temple onto the floor. He lay there, glaring, and finally said,

"If you get me out of these ropes, and let me get cleaned up…I'll tell you everything you want to know. I promise."

Harry bent down to Malfoy's level, staring him in the eye.

"I learned a long time ago not to trust a Malfoy," Harry said quietly.

Malfoy smirked.

"You may think my word is as good as shit, Potter, but I'm a gentleman, and my word is as good as gold."

"Somehow I doubt that," Harry said, "but if you break your promise, I can always turn you into the piece of shit that you are."

He waved his wand, and Malfoy was freed.

A few moments later they were on Malfoy's living room couch, and Harry was thinking of what to ask first.

"Why did you send the howler to Hermione? Why would you tell Ron? What's your motive?"

Malfoy took a sip of wine from the glass he held.

"I sent Granger the howler because I made a deal with Weasley back in Hogwarts," he told Harry. "He was a mess after Granger left Hogwarts. Pathetic. So I stepped in one day after potions, long after he became your worst enemy…worse than me. I told him that I'd find out where you were hiding, what her alias was, where she was. I told him that I'd tell him everything, if he could provide me with something I wanted."

"Which would be…?"

"His sister, Potter. As strange as it may seem to you, I love Ginny, but we can't be together. Our families don't mix. Everyone judges me by my father, and what he did, including her family. So we were together for awhile in Hogwarts, and then we had a fight about our families, and broke it off. I wanted her back, so I came to her brother." Malfoy paused.

"During Christmas break, I signed up for a leave of my own means, getting 'home' on my own. In reality, I followed you. I found out where your portkey was heading, and got one for myself. I followed you by broomstick, and saw where you went. I saw Granger through a window, and remembered the address.

"When the time was right, I wrote a howler, and sent it to her. I thought I'd tell Weasley everything, and then get my girl. But," Malfoy looked away, "The tables have turned. She's engaged now. Weasley has nothing I want. And therefore…Granger and you have nothing to worry about from me."

Harry sat on the couch, speechless.

"Where's Ron now?" Harry asked.

"Playing for the Chudley Cannons," Malfoy said dismissively.

"Is there nothing else that you want, Malfoy? Because I'm gonna make a bargain with you," Harry said, leaning back against the couch.

"Want? Yeah, I want a lot of things, Potter. I want people to know me for me, not my father. I want to settle down and raise a normal family. People think I'm a git from the way I acted at school, but back then I was under the control of my parents, and I wanted to be noticed, so people won't notice how my family was falling apart. But now my family has completely collapsed, and there's no need for any of it. It's all behind closed doors…I'm not a bad guy, Potter. I'm just lonely."

"I'll find you a girl, Malfoy. Someone you can love. Someone besides Ginny, who left you. But you need to do me a favor."

"I'm listening."

"Good. Here's the plan."

* * *

Ronald Weasley touched down on the Quidditch Field, sore from practice, and looked up at the few fans who came to watch them in the stands. One happened to be a little girl who was sitting next to a hooded man in a black cloak, pointing towards him and whispering. 

A few minutes later the girl rushed towards him, blonde curls bobbing and giggling.

"Excuse me, sir, would you mind signing this for me dad? He's a bit shy since he got cursed by our neighbor," she said, looking over her shoulder at the hooded man.

"Of course, sweetie…and who is this out to?"

"Oh don't bother with a name…your autograph is fine, sir."

"Alright," Ron said, signing the paper.

"Thank you!" The girl squeaked, and she ran off.

Ron turned around to wave goodbye to his teammates, and then looked after the girl, but she and the man were gone.

Ron shook his head, and turned to the locker rooms.

* * *

Harry entered the apartment, and closed the door quietly behind him. He knew that Hermione would hex him into the next century for coming home twelve hours later then promised, but he had no other choice. 

Sighing, he shrugged off his coat and stumbled into the living room, where the lights suddenly flicked on. Sitting on the couch in a bathrobe sat Hermione, glaring at Harry.

"I promise to be back before noon, love," Hermione mimicked, her eyes like daggers.

"Hermione…let me explain…" Harry said cautiously.

"You do _not_ tell a woman you'll be back at one time and come back _thirteen hours late_!"

Harry glanced at the clock.

"Twelve, love."

Hermione's face flushed with anger.

Harry walked up to her and pecked her on the cheek, and immediately her anger subsided, and she became emotional.

"I thought something terrible happened, Harry!"

"Nothing _terrible_ happened," Harry said.

Hermione reached up to caress his cheek, and immediately found the gash on his temple."

"Nothing terrible! Harry! How do you explain that?"

Harry rolled his eyes, and collapsed on the couch.

"Alright…I admit…after I saw Neville and chatted with him I went to see Malfoy…and we had a bit of a fight…it's nothing, Hermione. I got the information I wanted out of him."

"Has he told Ron anything?"

"No…he hasn't. But thanks to him we have a little something from Ron."

Hermione paled.

"Harry…"

Harry reached into his pocket and brought out a slip of paper, showing it to Hermione, who gasped.

"He signed away his rights as a parent to your baby, 'Mione," Harry told her. "He's out of your life. He's no longer your baby's father."

Hermione threw her arms around Harry and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Yes what, 'Mione?" Harry asked, rubbing the small of her back.

She pulled back and smiled at him, a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Yes, I'll marry you. I accept your proposal."

(A/N) So sorry it took so long to update! Finals at University…quite annoying.

Food for thought: how is Harry going to provide Draco with the girl he promised? When will the baby arrive? And what about their wedding? Please review!


End file.
